These last two weeks have been crazy. I am not sure if it’s just poor planning on my part, but the time I have had at home with my dog and husband have been far and few between. It’s starting to drain on me. Not to mention that my husband will be out on tour for the next couple of weeks, the idea of being alone with the dog for that long is looming. Not because my dog is tiresome. She isn’t, but I am a social introvert. Let me explain. I love to be around people. A small group of people that get me. They are my people. I can count my people probably only using 3 to 4 hands. If one of them is gone, a part of me is gone. It may sound a bit dramatic, but it’s honestly, how I feel. What I don’t like a huge group of people and even if I know all of them. If all of my people got together in my house, I would probably sheepishly hide in the kitchen letting my husband do the entertaining while I had a glass of wine and figure out something to serve as appetizers. In groups of people, I talk little, eat more and hope that my husband tells me soon that it’s time to go. My husband is the complete opposite. While I would love to consistently be around 1-2 people that are my people, my husband would rather entertain the masses for a night, giving 100% and then hide away ALL ALONE (maybe the dog could be included) for the rest of the week. Maybe that’s why he is the musician and I am the photographer.
When you’re musician and you’re on stage for a night.. you have to give yourself 100% to your audience. I see my husband up there and while I would be embarrassed to run around stage like that, he loves it and not only that, but the audience also loves it. Complete strangers pat him on the back, shake hands with him and by the end of the night he has made a dozen or more friends on Facebook. Then when he is done, he reverts to little words, a lot of thinking and relishing in all the time he has completely alone. As a musician you need that time, you need that space and solitude. As a photographer, it’s completely different. You’re not there to entertain, but you’re there to capture movement, emotion, and light. You have to be intimate with those that your shooting and very quickly find some sort of connection, so your subject feels comfortable. That’s why sessions with friends and family are the best because you already have that connection.
Sometimes, you have to make that connection without the familiarity of family or friendship. Take these two littles for instance, Mila and Sapphire. They were full of energy this particular Sunday. They wanted to run, sing, dance and do everything, but take a family picture. My job was not only to capture that intense energy, but also get on their level, find a connection, and so that they could hear me and finally sit down for a group shot (which turned out great). Photography allows me to be myself. It’s kind of the best thing.
I am looking forward to my husband going on tour, but I am dreading the loneliness. As a social introvert, these last 6 months have spoiled me by allowing me to always have one of my own always with me. I guess I’ll just pile up the days with activities with friends and work, so hopefully the next few weeks will fly by. :)’
Thank you, San Family, for a beautiful session. You all were lovely and I am always excited to do a session with you guys!
Till next time,
So Let me tell you about this session that I was absolutely blown away by. Catrina and Anthony got paired up with me by their friend Sarai, which was super nice of her! We began to discuss locations for their session. We talked about doing something in downtown or finding a spot like the LA river. The pair finally settled on their home. I was stoked. I love in home sessions. I thought it would be fun to do something like a life style session instead of your traditional portrait session. They gave me their address and early on a Sunday morning I was headed downtown.
I pulled up in front of their “home,” but I was honestly, very confused. It looked like a bank building! I gave them a ring and they told I was in the right spot and they would meet down stairs. I was a little nervous. A couple came downstairs and I knew for sure it wasn’t them. At least I hoped it wasn’t them. Although a very cute couple, they were both wearing shorts, polo tees and were carrying big beach bags. Not the most ideal look for a photo session. Then the elevator opened again and out came Catrina and Anthony. WOW was probably my first thought. Both of them were dressed head to two in sharp black and I felt like I was on set for the matrix or something. They came up to me, greeted me with me smiles and then reassured me that everyone is confused about were they live.
We got into the elevator and he said, “Alright, so I talked to the security at the front desk. She said that it should be cool for us, but if the alarm goes off she’ll step away from the desk for 30 minutes, so we will have time do do our full session.” He pounded his fists together in excitement. “Wait, wait,” I said. “What are we doing?” He laughed at me and then said, “Oh, yeah! We are going up to the helicopter pad.”
SAY WHAT??? So much for the in home lifestyle session I had been dreaming about. We take the elevator, climb a few flights of stairs, prop a door open (which by the way the alarm does not go off) and make our way to the top of a LEGIT helicopter pad with a 360 degree view of Los Angeles. UNBELIEVABLE. I had a beautiful couple, an amazing back drop and to top it off he requested that I edit mostly in black and white. YAY my favorite.
Thank you, Catrina and Anthony, for a perfect session. You both were creative, took risks and definitely gave me a story to tell about later. I hope we work together soon!
I am sitting in my living room watching Mortified Nation, which is a special comprised of different participates reading their journal or diary entries from their childhood. It’s kind of epic. It has me thinking about my own childhood and the dairies I used to keep. Things back then seem to be so big, so dramatic, so scary and yet, so magical. I remember writing about my very first crush, best friends that seemingly stabbed me in the back or just really fun days. Every day was notable. Every day was something to write about. I experienced every day to it’s fullest. On one hand it seems like ages ago that I cried when my pet frog jumped out of it’s cage and lost itself in the garden’s bushes, and on the other hand, it feels like just yesterday that I writing about my first broken heart. Time has definitely changed that. I am not sure if things are still dramatic. Maybe I don’t let it bother me or there really isn’t that much drama anymore. Whatever it is, now there are many days that pass before I write in any diary or before I write anything at all (outside of this blog). My friends don’t seem to stab me in the back, my husband hasn’t broken my heart and on the really fun days, I just want to go to bed afterwards because I am exhausted. The way I view life definitely has changed.
I think what it really is though, is that I don’t need my diary anymore. I think I should still keep one for sure, but I think I finally found a group of people that my secrets are safe, where my joy is understood and my heartache is comforted. I think that’s what happens as you get older. You find a community of people that you can finally trust and rely on. Your diary is no longer your only friend! YAY! While life may not always feel as big as it once did in high school or jr. high, it will still happen and sometimes, it will still feel just that big. So while we may jot down a few lines in our journal, I think we are more likely to phone friend. I think that’s best.
Sorry for my rambling, but here is Cameron who has his whole life ahead of him. He might keep a diary but more importantly, I hope he finds a group of people that he can trust with all his hopes, dreams and fears. I so enjoyed our session together. I loved watching him chase bubbles, play monkey in the middle with mom and dad and play hide-n-seek with me. Thank you, Cook family, for such a lovely session! I hope to see you all soon.